Why I'm Here for Dating in 2019
Thirst trapping. Bread crumbing. Kitten-fishing. Scroogeing, Daterviewing. Benching. Instagrandstanding. Ghosting spawned Haunting and Orbiting, while popular podcasts offer strategies for “how not to catch feelings”’or how to “finesse a fuck boy.” It’s disorienting! No wonder older generations say they don’t envy us. Pretty much everyone feels like dating in 2019 is the worst.
Yet we’re also afforded many new advantages and opportunities. As someone with an insatiable interest in sex, love and dating, I’ll try almost anything once. And I’m here to tell you that there are a lot of bright sides, from greater openness and intention in choosing relationship styles, to body positivity and the wealth of ways we can connect with people in our cities and across the world. People are becoming more aware that they possess agency in their sexuality, and that is really exciting.
Here are a few bright sides about dating in 2019:
Choose your own adventure- Interest in polyamory and open relationships is on the rise. Choosing to be monogamous works for a lot of people, but it’s not your only option. Being able to intentionally create the kind of relationship structure you want with your partner(s) is a beautiful thing.
Everything is fluid - from fashion to who you’re flirting with. Forget definitions in 2019; you don’t need to lock yourself into preferences about gender and sexuality. Try what excites you now, without feeling like that choice defines you.
Taking risks is exciting - Have butterflies as you cycle to your first date or before experiencing something new with a partner? Embrace it! Nervous energy can be scary but it also makes you feel alive. It means you care, so you’re on the right track.
Exploring your city - One of the best parts of dating can be discovering a whole new perspective on your city. Consider choosing places you’ve always wanted to check out with a first date, so if you don’t hit it off, at least you’re tackling your local bucket list.
There’s an app for that - Interested in exploring kinky fantasies, but don’t know how to start? Try Fet Life or KinkD - its a safe space where you can create an anonymous profile (use just your first initial, or test out that alterego...), list your interests and find matches based on exactly what you want to try.
Community: whatever you’re into, you’re not alone: 2019 is giving us more platforms to connect with people in person than ever before. Bi-curious? Check out Skirt Club. Cannabis turn you on? Try NSFW. Want to take your new latex out for a stroll? Head to Wasteland or Bound. Want to explore relationships and sexuality? Attend an event by TouchPoint, School of Life, La Fete du Slip or yours truly, Hot Takes.
Sex Tech for Self Love - Vibrator technology has not really evolved since the 1980’s - until now. From the Womanizer’s pressure wave technology to Lioness.io, the first health tracking vibrator, innovation never felt so sexy.
Alternative Erotica! - Porn is often a reflection of society - and the good news is there are amazing filmmakers telling erotic stories beautifully, including yours! Head to XConfessions by Erika Lust to suggest your fantasy for the next sex scene, or sit back and enjoy films by Blue Artichoke or treat yourself to a morning on trenchcoatx.com.
Sex Ed for Adults - Most of us missed out on meaningful sex ed, receiving reproductive biology at best. Check out these new platforms to have all your questions answered: O.School, The Sex Ed, Sex + Cycles, Salty, or the Savage Lovecast.
Women are Reclaiming the Right to Sexuality - Women around the world are calling out abuse, discussing consent, and staking their claim to pleasure. Now more than ever, women are able to be open about their sexual preferences, advocate for sex workers and underrepresented communities, and be honest about their desires - and that’s a beautiful thing in 2019.